The title of this post is pretty self-explanatory, so I am going to jump right into this one. We all spend most of our precious time staring intently at our computers or our phones. We spend most of our time writing, reading and sending text messages to our friends. Once, I came to notice that a few of my friends were somehow nicer and friendlier when they texted than when we talk in person. Also, we have to consider the importance of different standpoints, just as you think one of your friends seems nicer in texts someone else may think the same about you. So I shared this observation with a few friends of mine and they agreed with me.
I am writing this one to explore the various reasons why one would be or appear to be nicer when they texted.
#1. No eye contact to gauge our partner for either positive or negative signs: Texting requires no eye contact apart from the continual staring at the luminescent screen. Primarily, your eyes convey a wide range of the emotions from anger to joy to dejection. Without that cue, we are not only left to our own devices to gauge another persons state of mind but also their facial expression while they were typing that text, so most of it is left to our imagination. When this is the case, we take it for granted that our partner in conversation is friendly to us and NOT mean. This is the manifestation of the phenomenon called optimistic bias, which is our tendency to think that we are less likely to be subject to negativity or negative events. Most of us would like to think that people like us and that they’d have no reason to be mean.
#2. A sequence of words by themselves do not convey tone: When you are conversing with a person, you perceive a statement as a compliment or a threat or neutral statement mostly because of the tone they use. Without the tone of voice even a statement as simple as "Nice outfit!" can be interpreted as an honest compliment or may be misconstrued as a taunt. Once again, we can attribute our perception of such a comment via text as a compliment to optimistic bias. After all, how can a sequence of words convey tone?
#3. The privacy to be who you really are: Texting is a one-on-one conversation which gives you the freedom to be who we really are without feeling conscious. You are free from the preying eyes of your friends and significant others who might tease, taunt or simply pull your leg for being a little different or for being honest. I mean, don't you feel more comfortable complimenting someone on their new outfit or their hair when you are alone rather than when you are surrounded by an ocean of people?
#4. You are at the liberty to be positioned the way you want: You are free to assume just any posture you want while you are texting as opposed to a personal conversation where you have to maintain an aesthetic and appropriate posture depending on the person you are conversing with. This is not the case when it comes to talking to someone over the phone; people sit and text, stand and text, even lie down and text. You can even squat and text if you want! A comfortable posture puts you at ease and changes your overall mood at any given time.
#5. It's easier to be honest when you don't have to face the immediate consequences of your statements: How many of us have picked a fight with a close friend through texts? Expressed real concern about a friend? Confessed our true feelings to our crushes? It's always a whole lot easier to be honest when you don't have to witness the reaction of a person firsthand. We are more comfortable responding to an excised and delayed, less fervent reaction than an immediate one, partly because we are at the liberty to take time to ponder and reply; we are not required to think on your feet.
#6. The munificent and whimsical use of emoticons: Well, this statement stands for itself. While texting, we make sure that texts are flooded with emoticons misguidedly fearing that the other person may take offense to what we are saying. The first time I chatted with a couple of friends, both of them later reported to me that they assumed that I was mean and arrogant simply because I hadn't used emoticons. Conversely, some of us use emoticons simply because they look cute.
#7. Ill-conceive perception: Personally, I strongly favor this premise. What if it is our faulty perception that is mocking us by making innocent and neutral texts seem nicer? The person texting may just be stating or/and sharing objective thoughts but our egocentric minds inevitably perceives it in a different light.
Well, these are MY premises explaining why someone would be friendlier or appear to be friendlier while they text. You are free to agree with this list or razz and chuck rotten tomatoes at it(My words may seem indifferent, but I secretly hope you agree with me!).
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